Mental health in college
What people may not know about me is that I’ve struggled with my mental health for as long as I can remember.
On the outside, I’ve always been the smiling girl; the one who wants to make everyone else laugh, the one who tries to brighten the room. But on the inside, there have been so many moments where I was fighting battles no one could see. Freshman year of high school, I genuinely didn’t think I would make it to graduation. Every day felt like it was on repeat, and my thoughts were my biggest enemy. I had no motivation, no confidence, and no belief that things would actually get better.
I started to see a little bit of light sophomore year, but my anxiety, depression, and eating disorder didn’t just disappear — they all existed at the same time, and they followed me through all four years of high school and still show up today. These aren’t things you simply “grow out of.” They’re battles you learn to manage, to fight through, and to ask for help with, even when that feels uncomfortable. For years, I struggled with my relationship with food and my body, letting a number on a scale define my mood and determine how worthy I felt. But I’ve learned that food is fuel, not something to fear, and that your weight does not define your worth. You are not more valuable at a certain size, and you are not more lovable based on a number. Your body is the least interesting thing about you. In high school, though, I carried all of this alone. I would cry in a bathroom stall and then walk out like nothing happened because I didn’t want to take up too much space or be a burden. I stayed quiet and fought my demons silently, until I realized that my anxiety, my insecurities, and those lies in my head were never worth the power I was giving them.
College looked different. Instead of crying alone, I now run to my friends’ dorm rooms. Instead of feeling like I’m too much, I’m reminded that I am deeply loved. Through ADPi, I found sisters who show up for me on the hard days and celebrate me on the good ones. They didn’t “fix” my anxiety or depression, because that’s not how it works. Instead, they gave me a community that holds me up when I can’t hold myself up.
I share this because you truly never know what someone is going through. The people who look the happiest can be fighting the hardest battles. Be kind. Check in. And if you’re struggling, please know you are not weak for it and you are never alone. There are ALWAYS rainbows after rain. Never forget that.
With love,
Sammy Kennedy
ADPi Tennessee